Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Stuck in the middle.

Nice shadow Matt 🙂🙂🙂

 I am living in an age of in between.

I am smack dab in the middle of people either getting married and having babies or getting black out drunk every weekend and not remembering Friday - Sunday.

My facebook feed is filled with babies, engagements and ... memes.

Some people are going to grad school and others are living with their parents.

I know someone that moved to the other side of the country and started their own business while some others are spending their time on Tinder dates.

It is a confusing time of extremes.

People can either have a one night stand or find their soul mate and either are completely normal.

Baby and wedding showers can fill my days, while making a sangria with four types of alcohol for when we get home.

I can be asked to be someone's bridesmaid or wing woman in the same day.

Friends are buying houses while others are selling their belongings on facebook for some extra cash.

Moving in with a partner is normal, totally expected and also, a huge step.

Living with all the in between is something I struggle with.

On one hand, I am no where near ready to get married, buy a house or have a baby.

On the other, I am in a relationship that I am comfortable in, can see going the distance and have my foot in the door in what I hope will be a long and fulfilling career.

I still live with my parents, but am starting to pay my own bills.

I can plan for the future.

Seeing people around me at all different stages of my life is admittedly stressful. As much as we claim not to compare ourselves to others - it is evitable. Leaving us either feeling on top of the world because: I only had two mimosa's or on the bottom because: What if I don't get to be a young, cool mom. 

All in all, you have to do whatever works best for you and your own well being. Whatever situation works best for you in the moment is 100% what you should be doing. 

I just feel very stuck in the middle. 


Thursday, July 13, 2017

how to accept the apology you never received.


We all know this feeling.

You have someone in your life for months or years, you trust them.

Tell them your deepest secrets, bare your soul.

You welcome them into your world, your home and finally, your heart.

You find yourself wanting their opinion on everything from a new song, world events and politics.

They're the first one you text when you wake and usually the reason you prolong going to sleep.

Your conversations are riveting and you find yourself learning things you never thought interested you before.

Items you brushed off as not important are suddenly the top of your searches on google. Bands that weren't your type creep their way into your 25 most played.

It happens slowly, you start to pick up the way they speak. You find yourself using their slang, emphasizing syllables in ways you hadn't before.

They sneak their way in, until suddenly you're inseparable.

You can't make a move without consulting them. You don't want too. Everything seems so much cooler with their approval and so pointless without. 

Then, slowly, it fades. If you're lucky it happens as gradually as it began. 

You make it to work or school without getting a good morning text, you manage to fall asleep before their good night rolls in. 

You find out that they showed someone else a band that was reserved for your drives and hear someone else using the acronyms that was an inside joke between you two. 

You find out that you're being replaced. You are suddenly not good enough for the person that made you feel like you were. 

Suddenly your weekends are empty and theirs aren't. 

They found a new you. 

They were holding auditions and you didn't even realize your time was up.

You don't have someone - and they do. 

You can let the bitterness eat you alive. It can rot you from the inside out, make you snarky, make you mean and turn you into someone you really don't like. Or you can accept the apology they never deemed you worthy of. 

You can take what they didn't give you, and move on. 

Know that although they didn't see what you had - you can. 

Find self worth inside yourself. Find it from the smile that creeps across your face. Find it in the laughter that you bring to other people's lives and find it in the love you share with everyone, not just those you deem worthy 

Find comfort in knowing you loved and gave your heart to someone who wasn't capable of doing the same. Find comfort in knowing they left someone who would never leave them. Find comfort in knowing you did the best you could. Find comfort in being the best person you can be. 

Find acceptance in knowing that you are someone that can put yourself out there. Find acceptance in the quiet nights you spend reminiscing over the good times, but a small pleasure in knowing you've escaped from the bad. Find acceptance in yourself. 

Finally, find peace in knowing you were all you could be. You gave a piece of yourself and they took it. Find peace in the hope they will use what you gave them. Find peace in knowing you gave someone the tools to be a better person. 

Accept the apology they could never give, because you are strong enough to know you deserved one. 

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

My Top 10 Instagram Fails

I think everyone thinks they are THE BEST at social media.

Like, I have some pretty fire tweets.

My Instagrams are pretty punny on the regular.

And I have mastered the art of the Facebook share.

But, occasionally, I go back and look at what I thought was ~~~FiRe ~~~ years (months) ago and can't help but think .... Jayne what were you thinking.

Why did you need to post that ? Did anyone need to see that? Did anyone want to see that?

The answer to all of these is a resounding no.

So before I go through my social media and delete them all to save myself from cringing mercilessly, and to make my Instagram feed more cohesive I thought I would share them with you all.

I make mistakes so you don't have too.

Do as I say, not as I do.

Without further ado, my biggest Instagram regrets:

1) The bathroom mirror selfie

If I didn't want you to see the coffee stickers on my phone, why post the pic ?? Why is my head tilted?? Was I thinking too hard ?? I was at MUN after all.. 

2) The "Look at how casually I am showing you my blundstones" pic 

Oh I'm so casual, these are my new blundstones, but don't look at them, look at my average sweater. That's the focal point of the picture FOR SURE. 

Pretty sure that is also the only two times I have worn that sweater, also and I think it just made me feel artsy.

3. Look at me here just snuggling my dog.

This picture definitely has nothing to do with the fresh dye I obviously had.

4. I'm a hippy at heart

This is just a whole lot of unnecessary in one pic. Like, I literally only put my headband like that for the picture. I don't walk around like that.

Why did this happen?

5. #BlondeHairDOCare

Evidentially, I do care about the blonde hair otherwise I wouldn't have made a selfie literally only to show off my blonde hair.

Also, that angle is causing me physical pain.

6. Deep quote + A different hair colour!!!

Genuinely surprised I didn't caption this "Brunette Hair don't care" but I digress.

Just your average girl, with her average inspiring quotes, inspiring the world.

Also, using too much exposure.

7. Look at my iPhone and all the unread texts I am too cool to answer !!

If you're going to post a picture which shows your messages - YOU BETTER BELIEVE there will be some unread messages. I'm in such high demand - how could I be expected to answer them all?

8. I am an athlete, see how athletic I am?

Healthy snack and all. And some numbing cream. Could we need anything else?

Yes. This could have been better. Or not done at all.

9. The 1st tattoo mistake

I think out of all of these, this is the one I understand the most. It looks infected and gross, but I was too excited about my new tattoo to a) wait until it healed a bit to show it to the world and b) wait to get a pic from a good angle.

I just had to put it up, inflammation and all.

It is still my favorite tattoo though.

10) This is a silly selfie but I am still so cute!!!

There were so many that I could have tossed into the #10 spot, but I think this one made me cringe the hardest. I can hear the thought running through my head now I'm going to take a picture where I look so bored but still super cute! Look how effortless I am.

Enjoy these! I am doing an Instagram purge - this post hurt my soul.

And also, these post go from 2013 - 2017, so I haven't learned ...

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Turning 22: An #UnreservedMoment

The wine + supplies for the cocktail were provided to me by Unreserved Wine. All thoughts, opinions and actions are my own. 

I don't know if anyone was aware, but I had a birthday over the weekend. 

I know I remained pretty low-key about it, but it did indeed happen. 

Later in the week, I will do a full post on How to turn 22: A comprehensive guide.

But right now I am about to CHANGE YOUR LIFE. 

So listen up.

When I have people in, one of the biggest things I worry about is what I am going to serve.  

I know most people like to #BYOB, but I like to at least provide something for people to sip on or have a glass of. It just feels like proper etiquette to me. 

I always struggle with what to serve, especially on a weekend as important as Canada 150 and my birthday!

Enter the Late Riser Smooth White Cocktail.

Not only was it a huge hit with my guests - it was so easy to make !! 

I was lucky enough to get a package with all the ingredients, but everything would have been on my grocery list anyway - which is a major plus when heading to the store and you're someone who never makes a list (guilty). 

All you need is: 

A bottle of Smooth White Unreserved Wine - which is a Canadian Brand 
A bottle of Pineapple juice 
A fresh pineapple (canned works too!!) 
Soda water (I am partial to Perrier) 
Lemon or Lime (I used both!!!) 

Make sure you put the bottle of wine in the fridge an hour or two before you want to prep! 

Fill whatever you plan on serving from about 1/4 full with the pineapple juice. Then I put in a cut up lemon and lime (washed!!!) to make sure the flavour got totally through - I love the tart taste!! 

After this, fill the container 3/4 full with your wine!! I used a bigger container - I was hosting about 15 people - so it took up most of the wine!! 

After you add your wine, I put in some pineapple chunks to add more flavour, and to eat after!! I am a big fan of fruit in wine, so this was a personal preference. Next time I might even add some strawberries! 

Right before serving, add some Perrier!! Again - I had a bigger serving size so I put in a full can, but this is really to your own personal preference! 

What I really loved about this is that I had a casual BBQ and so we drank it out of red solo cups. But it would be SO easy to do it up in a classier way and it would look cute! 

So there we go - an easy, tasty and most importantly CANADIAN cocktail!! 

What do you think ?? Will you try it?? What are your favourite cocktails for entertaining ?