Monday, May 29, 2017

What makes me anxious.

Most of the time, I feel as though I have a pretty good handle on my anxiety and all the quirks that come with it. I've been living with this mental illness (knowingly) for over four years, so very little issues that come with it surprise me anymore. 

That doesn't mean that the most outrageous things don't still trigger me though, such as: 

Losing my Mom in a store: I have been known to walk around Dominion just saying "Mom, Mom, Margot, Mom" until I find her. There may have also been tears shed. While I get nervous losing anyone I go to the store with, Mom is definitely the most stressful for me. 

(A happier time, when no one was lost.)

Calling someone: With the exception of Matt and my parents, I can't call anyone without working myself up to it. Writing out a script, deciding how long I will allow the phone call to last and practicing my "Hi ____, It's Jayne" a million times is just some examples of the preparation that goes into a phone call. 

Going to a place I don't know many people: Parties when I first started dating Matt were the worst thing that has ever happened. Luckily, his friends are wonderful. But those first few parties are burned into my brain.
(this is from the first party I went to with Matt, I spent it with the dog) 

Going somewhere I used to know someone: The only thing more nerve wracking than meeting new people is seeing people you used to be friends with. Do you act like nothing has changed? Ask about them? Pretend you know? Bring up the new relationship you only know about through social media? How do you act ???? 

Getting a text from an unknown number: I don't have the preview on my phone, so I have to unlock my phone and then read the text. When its from a number I don't know or someone I don't expect to hear from, I panic. Who are they? What do they want? Why are they texting? So many questions, so little answers. 

All-in-all, life brings up many anxious and awkward encounters. Strength and mental well being is found in how we handle them. 

What are some things that make you guys anxious? Anything unusual? Anything the same as me? 


  1. As an introvert, I can say, I feel you!

    I intentionally got a job as a sales person, to try to get past my worked, but it wasn't the easiest course to take.

    Now, I work from home, and only have to deal with my animals. MUCH easier to deal with. And no more parties or social events to meet 'the one' now that I found her!

    Good article!

    1. Thanks!! My dream would be to run a boarding kennel or something and only have to deal with animals all day! Much less stressful !!

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  3. I get anxious about the most random things at the most random times. It is a real thing and the struggle is real.

  4. oh my gosh. same to all these! i love when i find other anxious people with the same worries as myself. it makes me feel better that i'm not the only one going through this <3